The Power of Vulnerability
Category: self family

Some Key Points

It starts with connection. Connection is why we are here. It's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. 

Neurobiologically, that is how we are wired and why we are here. 

Shame unravels connection. The fear of disconnection - if other people see it then I am unworthy of connection. I am not good enough, smart enough... and excruciating vulnerability underpins this. 

In order for connection to happen we have to allow ourselves to be really seen. 

It comes down to a sense of worthiness and a strong sense of love and belonging. The difference with people who feel this, is they believe they are worthy of love and belonging. That’s it. 

The one thing that keeps us out of connection is our fear that we are not worthy of connection. 

What do these people have in common? These are whole hearted people living from this deep sense of worthiness. They have these things;

• Courage - tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. The courage to be imperfect.
• Compassion - to be kind to themselves first and then to others. We have to treat ourselves kindly first before we can treat others in that way.
• Connection - they have a connection as a result of authenticity. They are willing to let go of who they should be to be themselves.
• Vulnerability - they fully embraced vulnerability. They fully believed what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. Vulnerability - it's necessary to have the willingness to say or do something where there are no guarantees. To breath though waiting for feedback or invest in a relationship that may or may not work out. 

What made you vulnerable, makes you beautiful

Vulnerability is the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging and love

We live in a vulnerability world so we numb vulnerability 

We are the most in debt, addicted, overweight time in American history. 

I’m going to have a few beers and banana nut muffin to numb the feelings. When we numb those we numb joy, gratitude, happiness then we are miserable and we are looking for purpose and meaning but we can’t find it so we have a few more beers and it becomes a dangerous cycle. 

Why and how we numb vulnerability

We make everything that is uncertain CERTAIN. "I’m right you’re wrong, that’s it!"

What we do now;

• Blame - a way to discharge pain and discomfort.
• We perfect - it doesn’t work. We perfect our children (they are hard wired for struggle when they get here). Don’t keep your child perfect. Say to your children - "We are imperfect and we are wired for struggle but we are worthy of love and belonging. You are worthy of love and belonging."
• We pretend - that what we do doesn’t have an effect on people. Just be authentic and real and say - I’m sorry we’ll fix it. 

There is another way;

• Let ourselves be deeply seen. 
• To love with our whole hearts even though there is no guarantee.
• To practice gratitude and joy.
• Say 'I am enough.'

TED Talk

Feeling inspired? Explore these curiosity questions

Use the notes functionality to explore these curiosity questions, for your eyes only. Not a member? Join for free to use the functionality. 

See if you can answer these questions in this moment, expanding into new possibilities, (with no limitations of past experiences), from a place of curiosity, wisdom and your deeper truth.  

I wonder what my relationship is with vulnerability?

What is it about my vulnerability that makes me beautiful?

I wonder what would open up for me if I allowed myself to be deeply seen?

I wonder what would open up for me if I allowed myself to love with my whole heart even though there is no guarantee?

I wonder what open up for me if I practiced more gratitude and brought more joy into my life?

I wonder what would open up for me if I was to share how I really feel and be vulnerable with those close to me?